Today is Sunday

I have a research paper for Law due on Tuesday. I have a Calculus exam on Thursday. I have a Macroeconomics exam on Thursday. I have an Italian quiz on Friday. I haven't made the slightest attempt at preparing myself for most of these upcoming events. I've downloaded all of the useful materials that may help me complete my research paper. That's a big step. As of right now, I have no inclination to do anything. I mean ANYTHING. I could do some sort of work. I could make Italian flash cards; I could do the practice problems for Calculus; I could vaguely skim through my Macroeconomics textbook. I could take a nap. I could watch a movie. I could take photos. I could play a video game. I could do anything. I've lost all motivation and willpower to be a productive person. I don't know. I just feel strangely lethargic right now. I know that I'll do all of the things necessary to prepare myself for this coming week, but I know that I won't put any real effort into it. I feel like my body and my mind have given up on me. Clearly they haven't completely abandoned me if I'm able to type out this post, but I just don't feel like my usual self. I feel like I should be drinking right now. I feel as though that would be the best possible decision for me to make, so that I can pass out into oblivion for a few hours. Then what will I do once I wake up? Let the overwhelming guilt and self-loathing wash over me because I chose to waste my time by drinking rather than making a serious attempt at being useful to myself. But I know that if I stay awake, I won't actually do any of that. I'll just sit here, in my chair, on my sore ass, wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I know I've been getting enough sleep. Meh. Maybe it's my diet. I'm not really on a diet but I've been on this exercise kick and to supplement that I've been cutting down on my food intake. Needless to say, I was shocked on Friday night to see that I'd only used five of my ten allocated meals this week. I now have four meals left. It's not as if I haven't been eating altogether, though. I just spend a lot more time in my room (when I'm not in class) and away from the dining hall. Yesterday, before I went to shoot the gymnastics meet, I had a small bit of pasta with meat sauce and some bread. But earlier I'd had a bowl of Cheerios (with an almost alarming amount of sugar). I just snack on whatever is in my room, rather than going to the dining hall. Like the pepperoni that I have in my fridge, I eat that sometimes when I'm hungry. But I don't eat an insane amount because I'm pretty sure that I can feel my face getting more and more oily with every circular piece of meat that I ingest. Last night, while I was editing my photos, I had a ton of pretzels. They're kind of hard to stop eating once you get started. Today I woke up and I had another bowl of Cheerios (with sugar, of course). So I'm definitely not starving myself. In fact, we're about to head to IHOP (and I already feel guilty about the fact that I'm not only going to IHOP, but I haven't exercised since Tuesday). I really need a drink.